Must Go

Another list:

1. Vacation photos - Someone says: "Tina, you like photography, let me show you the pictures from my vacation.  You'll appreciate them" (why? because I do photos?)  I don't want to see all 325 of my own photos, much less yours. Weed out the shitty ones to the few that represent your vacation.  I whittle my gazillion photos to the few that are amazing and those are what I share. Even on my blog, I show just the few that represent the party, vacation, etc.....too many can be too many!

2. On that same note: when you do show me pictures, I really don't care that your aunt Mabel's cousin's friend is serving the punch at the family reunion.

3. "Your camera is so nice....was it expensive?"  "That's why you get such great pictures." (ACTUALLY, I get really great pictures with my iPhone as well.) Don't buy into the hype that a better camera will automatically give you better pictures. If you treat a DSLR like a point and shoot, that's what you'll get.

4. "Could care less", meaning you care a little bit.  If you're trying to say that you don't care at all, what you want to say is: "Couldn't care less", meaning, there's nowhere else to go on the caring meter.

Another List of Things that Must Go

I have been accumulating these for a while.

1. My best sleep comes right before and during the time I need to get up in the morning (5:00 a.m. and 6:00 a.m.)

2. Trainees with long fingernails who come to class and can't type. My observation has been that these ladies don't type very well anyway, then they have these terrible long nails.....cut the nails!

3. Yelling...loudly...horribly...at children. They are children! Teach them. Don't yell at them.

4. My debit card has the words: "See ID." Yet, I get asked MAYBE once a month after several interactions at the grocery store, fast food, book store, restaurants....you name it. Finally one person will ask. I've gotten to where I hand both my card and my ID over, and they still don't check!!!

5. Commercials where the husband is portrayed as an idiot with no clue about how the family is going and the wife is so much more knowledgeable. Husband: what are we going to do about blah blah blah problem?
Wife: oh, I already checked that and here's the solution: Product name
Husband: Product name?
Wife: Yes, Product name will do....blah blah blah and solve the problem.
Husband: Squirrel! (or some ridiculous comment to the like.)

6. People who say, "you're too young to have a bucket list." Maybe, but I think I want to create a list of things I'd like to accomplish, see and/or visit before my life is over...These will become a bit of a priority over other things that aren't on my list. And nobody is ever to young to create a road map for themselves.

Magnificent Seven

Two days into the Go-Live I have a few Must Go's. I have to start with the fact that we've had old, DOS based systems to schedule patients and register and bill them. More than one system....so we desperately needed some new technology.

We've trained more than 4,500 users in eight weeks and we went live with the new system on Halloween.

I'm one of seven trainers on the phones as a resource to other trainers, IT outposts, super users and end users. We are called the Magnificent Seven. I have enjoyed being in this role and I think the roll out has been smoother than a lot of people expected....but, we get the issues that people have and I have issues with some of those people.

here is a brief must go in regard to this experience:

1. Don't enter in multiple trouble tickets for the same issue. Really!?

2. There are so many people in the command center working through the many trouble tickets and so many people think that their issue is an emergency, high priority and should be the top priority!

3. Calling one of the Mag7, not liking the answer, so calling back to speak to another Mag 7. The answer didn't change.

4. Other credentialed trainers who "help" answer trouble tickets and then reassign them back because they don't know how to answer the question....We don't always know the answer, either, but we find it and then close the trouble ticket.

What I have loved - What Must Stay:

1. Really great Super Users in the clinics who practiced after training and made sure that their areas were truly ready for the go-live!

2. A doctor who called me today and realized in the middle of our conversation that this new system means they'll have to change their entire work flow, and while I fretted for a minute about how he would kill the messenger (me), instead, he says: "Actually, we've been needing to re-evaluate our work flow and this will make us do just that." Yay!

3. Managers who have had so much patience when we tell them, "we'll put in a trouble ticket for IT to handle this issue." And, they hang in there knowing that they have no choice, but they choose to have a good attitude about the wait.

There's my quick list. Two days down, 8 more to go for the go-live support.

Must Go

Another list of things that must go. As you know, I've been training new software to employees at the University of Utah Health Care since August. We are all exhausted from the training, constant changes and attitudes of many of those who attend our classes. We go live in one week and we will have trained over 4,500 users since August 13. What a crazy endeavor!
Here are my things that must go as it relates to training:

1. It isn’t uncommon to have someone in class let us know (in a whiny tone): “I don’t know why I’m here, I’ll never use this program in my job,” and then this person sulks and sighs through training and constantly reminds everyone that training isn’t needed for his/her job. Well, here’s the thing, friend: I’m not your guidance counselor and I didn’t make the decision that you should be here, that was your manager, so here’s a phone; call your manager and tell them you think training is unnecessary for your job. In the mean time, we are moving forward with or without you because I don’t care how this applies to your job….it applies to mine.

2. Inconsistent feedback from class participants. One person will say, "the class moved too slowly for me." And someone from the very same class will say, "the class was way too fast. I couldn't keep up." Really? huh....so throw that feedback out.

3. People who give feedback like: "I think you should make the slow people go to another class so the fast people can learn and be done." I appreciate where people are coming from because I catch on pretty fast,too. But here's the thing: how, exactly, would you propose we implement this?
"Uh, yeah, so could the dummies go to classroom B and the smarties stay here?" No matter how fast people think they are, there will always be someone in class slower than you, so buck up and deal with it.

4. People who give feedback to me and a co-trainer regarding a class we didn't teach. Not the class they've just completed, but for a class to they took a couple of days ago. Really!? How is that feedback going to help us!? I don't care that you didn't like that class or that those trainers sucked. Tell us how awesome we did with THIS class!

5. People who ask, "You mean I have to pass a test in order to gain access to the program?" Yup. You sure do.

6. Managers who are convinced that they will be able to demand access to the program without having gone through training. Good try, but take that weight you think you have and throw it around elsewhere.

7. People who don't read and follow directions, even when those directios are very clearly spelled out, step by step. This usually comes from those same people who think they belong to the fast learning group. They read through the directions too quickly and then get lost. "Click here."
"Uh, what do I do? I don't get it." Maybe you need to attend the dummies class, don't you?

8. Clinics and managers with whom I have been communicating via phone and email, who then go to my manager and tell him that I haven't replied to the one question they sent me half an hour ago. Especially when I HAVE replied...It's usually with an answer they didn't want to hear.

OMG...I could go on and on. With all that said, and as tired as we are, I have had so much fun with the trainers. We have had a lot of really fun moments together and we all knew it was just a passing time in our work experience but it has been fun!

Things That Must Go

1. The BP Oil Company! Pretty self explanatory with just that.

2. Obama haters.

Not the people who honestly question or wonder about some of the policies but the true haters who refuse to consider ANYTHING he says simply because he's a democrat? first black president? what is it!? I'm so tired of these crazies asking - demanding - to see his birth certificate. Really? You can't be a U.S. Senator without being born in the United States.

3. Chain e-mails . . .

. . .from family and friends that say something to the effect of: "I don't normally forward these but I liked the message." How about you just don't forward it? The message is usually pretty lame. I've gotten to where I just delete the e-mail without reading it. Hey, I know! Just don't forward them.

4. The saying: “are you panties in a twist?”
but not panties (with a ‘T’), it’s "pannies." I always want to take mine off right there, and ask, “I don’t know, are they?” Shock the hell out of them. I don’t ask you about your jock strap, or any part of your anatomy and under clothing….how is it okay for you to ask me about my underclothing? In reality, it’s a degrading phrase……so next time you seem frustrated (valid or not), I’ll ask you the same thing: “is your penis in a twist?" or "Not getting’ any from the missus?” Doesn’t it make you feel like you’re respected when I degrade you down to that?

5. People and companies who promote the need of now!

I was at Best Buy asking them about the camera I want. I wanted to know the benefits of their lay-away program versus their financing program. Two different people, independent of each other, said, “well, with financing you walk out the door with the camera. With lay-away, you have to wait until it’s paid off.” Oh, really….gosh is that the difference? No kidding, Professor! I’m wanting to know the DIFFERENCES – is there a fee? What kind of deposit is required? etc.....

Another List of Things that Must Go

My list is all over the place...so bear with me.
1. Friday afternoons at work when I have to be there until 4:30 and everybody else has left the office a ghost town. Minus the one lowly employee still doing her job. (*sob*) Boo on you! I want to go home at 2:30 but I'm supposed to be here the full day.


2. Crappy Valentine's day treats at work. We were to bring some treats to add to the "break room pool" and then all could partake at their leisure. So there's this chocolate cookie that looks good but when I bite into it, my teeth are lucky to stay in my mouth. Hard as a rock. Next time, just don't bother "contributing."


3. People who, when they approach you, look you up and down from head to toe, scrutinizing your attire. What? Are you checking me out? I have to say that the ones who are doing the scrutinizing, are rarely the height of fashion themselves. One such person (an old boss of mine) wore the most crap-tastic clothes ever created. You know: that horrible linen/rayon-something-mix, made into an unflattering "suit" that has skirts that come to the mid calves and look just awful. I always felt kind of sorry for her. SHE always looks me up and down when she sees me. Next time I'm going to ask her how much she loves my outfit.


4. Cooked raisins. Ugh! *spat* Really, there's nothing more to say about that.


5. Subaru outbacks. I mentioned this on my facebook status once, and really, my perception hasn't changed. I know they handle the snow well, but do all the worst drivers in Utah have to buy one? They always seem to be three or four car lengths behind the next car in front of them. And they rarely go the speed limit and they seem to wander all over the road - like it's a casual scenic drive. MOVE! It's my road, after all. LOL!


6. People who don't know how to end a conversation so they say "Oh, well" to everything. I've just spilled my heart out and you say "oh, well?" Oh well.


7. When I'm training (or in meeting or out shopping) and my body decides THIS is the moment to reject the food I ate hours ago. *gurgle* *gurgle* *gurgle* Really? this is the moment, huh? I hate excusing myself, and more than that, I have to utilize the PUBLIC restroom as quietly as I can then run away as fast as possible. THAT definately has to go!

That's my list for now. I'm sure I'll add more soon.

My List of Things That Must Go

So X96, the radio station that Eric and I listen to on our way to work, has a feature called the "list of things that must go." This is where they list the things they'd like to see go...and the following week, they read what listeners have submitted.

I have never submitted my list because it is a long list. And maybe not the best entry to put in here in the month of November, but here goes anyway:

1. People who don't know me very well (and even some who do) who ask me: "when are you & Eric gonna have a family?" Uh, RUDE! We are a family. If your real question is: when are you going to have kids, well, it's not like you're asking me to go out and get a loaf of bread. What an incredibly rude question to ask. It's not like I ask you how often you and your spouse are having sex...so stay out of my bedroom and I'll stay out of yours.

2. People who tell me I should quit my 2nd job. It's a good job and I like it. It's none of your business why I work it and it's not for you to tell me to leave it. I'm shocked at how frequently people tell me, "You should quit that job." I don't understand it. Why do you care that I work a 2nd job? I've worked two jobs most of my adult life because I WANT to.

3. Diets. People who talk of nothing else. People who broadcast to the whole freaking world, every single little itsy bitsy thing they are doing to help them lose weight. News flash: I DON'T CARE! AND, on that note I really hate stupid little competitions at work; like: let's have a stair climbing competition. Count how many flights you climb and document it on this little chart here. Okay, how about NONE...no flights...happy?

4. Bicyclists who run stop signs and then glare at you when you almost hit them because you had right of way and surely they were going to stop at the STOP SIGN, right? Wrong! You are a moving vehicle and are held to the same traffic rules as the rest of us in moving vehicles.

5. Random paper cuts: I'm typing on the keyboard and suddenly I realize my thumb is a little tender, so I look at it and there's a little cut - looks like a paper cut - It's red, and a little swollen and there's a little bit of DRIED blood...so this did NOT JUST happen.....so I wonder, where was I when this happened? Did my brain just chose not to register that I'd cut myself?

6. Speaking of random injuries: Random bruises have also got to go! Have you ever been changing your clothes and there on your thigh or arm is this massive black and blue mark? What happened there? I checked out again!? How is it I don't remember that!? It looks like it had to be pretty painful, so why don't I remember? I seriously have a mental check-list in my head: did I walk into a table? Nope. Did I just decide to give myself a dead leg? I mean really! I need a new memory!

7. People who clear their throat with a cough but don't cover their mouth. Yuck! You do know what your clearing FROM YOUR THROAT, don't you?! I don't want that crap flying out freely in my direction! Grody! Cover up! If I wake up tomorrow with some new cold virus, I'll hunt you down!.....of course, I do have a poor memory, evidently, so I may not remember who passed the cold on to me.