A Clumsy Oaf and Her Crutches

So, I'm a dumb-ass! A CLUMSY one, at that.

You may or may not know that a few years ago I fell on New Years Eve (12/31/05) and broke my left foot. It was a thrill a minute. My body hated me for weeks after that! And I HATED being on crutches.

To make matters worse, I've been weak in that ankle since and it loves to give out on me on a fairly regular basis (thus I cling to shopping carts for dear life whenever we go to any store).

On Wednesday, Eric and I decided to join the throng of non-cooking people on the day before Thanksgiving, and we went to enjoy a nice dinner at one of our favorite restaurants: Robintino's....mmmmmmmm.

As we were walking back to the car, my body decided that the time had come to remind me that I cannot (and should not) walk AND talk at the same time.

My left hip threw my left ankle into a crazy (and one would think: impossible) twist. As I landed, my ankle immediately rejected that position in fright and pain that jolted to my head. I thought I was going to pass out and was SHOCKED when I realized I was still on my feet - or rather, foot. Somehow, in a moment of true courage and independence, my right foot caught all my weight and stood it's ground: 'I will not let you go down without a fight!' I wish my tear ducts had decided to put up an equal battle, but alas, I wept like a little girl. Eric helped me to the car and I watched my ankle and foot fill up like a balloon. At home we pulled out the ice bag, the terrible crutches and the ankle brace, along with the memories attached to them.

My dogs were not too happy with the sight of those dreadful crutches...I'm sure to them it's already hard enough to maneuver around me and my unsure steps. But throw in the crutches that are loud and bulky and unsteady in my hands, and the dogs are positively terrified of me. They look at me with wide un-trusting eyes like I will topple over on top of them in an instant. It's really quite funny!

It makes me laugh, anyway.

I will be going to the doctor tomorrow to have the confirmation that I know how to really sprain my ankle.

But here's the one true claim to glory for me: I did not hit the pavement! That really is the whole accomplishment and I'm very proud!

Here at work, at 3:15 in the morning, I stumbled across a clip from one of my favorite movies: Fern Gully (which I haven't watched for a very long time). It still makes me laugh.


I found one of the WEIRDEST videos: Snail


And now: The Fly:

Okay, then.