My List of Things That Must Go

So X96, the radio station that Eric and I listen to on our way to work, has a feature called the "list of things that must go." This is where they list the things they'd like to see go...and the following week, they read what listeners have submitted.

I have never submitted my list because it is a long list. And maybe not the best entry to put in here in the month of November, but here goes anyway:

1. People who don't know me very well (and even some who do) who ask me: "when are you & Eric gonna have a family?" Uh, RUDE! We are a family. If your real question is: when are you going to have kids, well, it's not like you're asking me to go out and get a loaf of bread. What an incredibly rude question to ask. It's not like I ask you how often you and your spouse are having sex...so stay out of my bedroom and I'll stay out of yours.

2. People who tell me I should quit my 2nd job. It's a good job and I like it. It's none of your business why I work it and it's not for you to tell me to leave it. I'm shocked at how frequently people tell me, "You should quit that job." I don't understand it. Why do you care that I work a 2nd job? I've worked two jobs most of my adult life because I WANT to.

3. Diets. People who talk of nothing else. People who broadcast to the whole freaking world, every single little itsy bitsy thing they are doing to help them lose weight. News flash: I DON'T CARE! AND, on that note I really hate stupid little competitions at work; like: let's have a stair climbing competition. Count how many flights you climb and document it on this little chart here. Okay, how about NONE...no flights...happy?

4. Bicyclists who run stop signs and then glare at you when you almost hit them because you had right of way and surely they were going to stop at the STOP SIGN, right? Wrong! You are a moving vehicle and are held to the same traffic rules as the rest of us in moving vehicles.

5. Random paper cuts: I'm typing on the keyboard and suddenly I realize my thumb is a little tender, so I look at it and there's a little cut - looks like a paper cut - It's red, and a little swollen and there's a little bit of DRIED blood...so this did NOT JUST happen.....so I wonder, where was I when this happened? Did my brain just chose not to register that I'd cut myself?

6. Speaking of random injuries: Random bruises have also got to go! Have you ever been changing your clothes and there on your thigh or arm is this massive black and blue mark? What happened there? I checked out again!? How is it I don't remember that!? It looks like it had to be pretty painful, so why don't I remember? I seriously have a mental check-list in my head: did I walk into a table? Nope. Did I just decide to give myself a dead leg? I mean really! I need a new memory!

7. People who clear their throat with a cough but don't cover their mouth. Yuck! You do know what your clearing FROM YOUR THROAT, don't you?! I don't want that crap flying out freely in my direction! Grody! Cover up! If I wake up tomorrow with some new cold virus, I'll hunt you down!.....of course, I do have a poor memory, evidently, so I may not remember who passed the cold on to me.